Somewhere along the way, did we forget how to simply live?
Have you ever stopped and wondered when life became so serious?
When did we stop laughing quite so freely, being spontaneous, doing things just because they made us happy, or finding joy in the simplest of moments?
At what point did our days become so filled with responsibilities, expectations, routines and endless things to do that we forgot to make space for ourselves?
Perhaps life happened.
Perhaps it was the loss of someone we loved, a relationship that broke our heart, a difficult life event that changed the way we saw the world, or the uncertainty and isolation many of us experienced during the pandemic.
Perhaps we found ourselves having to be strong for everyone else while quietly trying to hold ourselves together.
For many women, life has also brought changing identities and an ever-growing list of responsibilities. We move through different roles: partner, mother, daughter, professional, carer, friend. We carry emotional responsibilities, the mental load of keeping everything organised and the expectations that often come with being the one everyone relies upon.
Somewhere in all of this, we can lose sight of the woman behind all those roles.
And perhaps without even noticing, we begin living in survival mode.
When Survival Becomes Our Normal
Sometimes, after difficult experiences, we become so accustomed to coping that we forget there is another way to live.
We become organised around getting through the day, meeting everyone's needs, managing responsibilities and keeping everything moving.
We may stop asking ourselves what we actually want, what excites us or what makes us feel alive.
Life becomes something we manage rather than something we experience.
And while we may still smile, socialise and fulfil our responsibilities, there can be a quiet disconnection from the things that once brought us happiness.
This isn't necessarily something that happens overnight. It can happen gradually, through years of putting ourselves last, navigating change, carrying responsibilities and adapting to circumstances.
But I think there comes a point when we need to pause and ask ourselves:
Am I actually living, or have I become very good at simply getting through life?
We Have Become So Distracted
We live in a world where there is always something competing for our attention.
Our phones, social media, notifications, endless scrolling, television, work and the constant stream of information.
We fill the quiet moments without even realising it.
But what happened to the art of sitting with ourselves?
Of enjoying our own company, allowing our thoughts to wander, being curious about who we are becoming and meeting ourselves exactly where we are?
What happened to doing absolutely nothing for a little while?
To sitting in the garden with a cup of tea, watching the world go by, listening to the birds or simply enjoying a moment without feeling the need to fill it?
Getting to know ourselves requires space. It requires us to slow down enough to notice what we feel, what we enjoy, what we miss and what we might want more of.
Perhaps we need to rediscover the value of being present rather than constantly being occupied.
Let's Bring Back the Fun!
And here is something I feel we don't talk about enough when we talk about healing and wellbeing.
We need joy. We need laughter. We need playfulness. We need to feel excited about life again.
Not everything has to be about self-improvement, productivity or working through something.
Sometimes wellbeing looks like dancing around the kitchen, laughing until your stomach hurts, singing loudly in the car or having a spontaneous afternoon that turns into an evening of wonderful memories.
It looks like running through a rainy day without an umbrella, taking an impromptu trip, exploring somewhere you've never been, trying something creative or saying yes to an experience simply because it sounds fun.
It might be rekindling an old friendship, revisiting somewhere that holds fond memories, picking up a forgotten hobby or allowing yourself to be a beginner at something new.
Remember when we did things without overthinking them?
When we made plans on a whim, laughed at silly things, got excited about little adventures and collected memories rather than worrying about the next thing on our to-do list?
Perhaps it is time to bring a little of that back.
Reconnecting With the Parts of Ourselves We Have Forgotten
Sometimes, rediscovering joy means reconnecting with parts of ourselves that have been quietly waiting for our attention.
The creative part. The adventurous part. The playful part. The curious part.
The person who loved exploring, making things, discovering new places or simply enjoying the freedom of an unplanned day.
We don't have to return to the people we were years ago. We have grown, experienced life and changed.
But we can take the things we once loved and allow them to have a place in the person we are today.
We can create new traditions, new friendships, new experiences and new memories.
We can give ourselves permission to enjoy life without feeling that we first have to earn it by completing everything else.
Make Memories, Not Just Plans
What if we started making more room for the things that make us feel alive?
A spontaneous weekend away. A walk somewhere beautiful. A picnic that wasn't planned. A day spent laughing with friends. A creative project that doesn't need to be perfect.
Take the photographs. Capture the moments. Keep the little reminders.
Not because every moment needs to be documented or shared, but because one day those photographs may bring back the feeling of a wonderful afternoon, the sound of someone's laughter or the memory of a time when you allowed yourself to simply enjoy being there.
Life is happening now, not just when the work is finished, the house is organised, the responsibilities are taken care of or the timing is perfect.
Perhaps This Is Also Part of Healing
We often think of healing as letting go of the past, understanding our experiences, working through difficulties and finding ways to feel better.
And all of that can be important.
But perhaps healing is also about allowing ourselves to experience happiness again.
To laugh without guilt. To be spontaneous without needing a reason. To feel excited about something small. To create, explore, connect and rediscover the simple pleasure of being alive.
We cannot always change what has happened to us, but we can begin to create space for new experiences and different possibilities.
So perhaps today is a good day to ask yourself:
When did I last do something simply because it made me happy?
When did I last laugh until I cried?
What have I stopped doing that I used to love?
What would I do if I gave myself permission to be a little more spontaneous?
And what memories would I like to create in the life I am living now?
Let's not become so busy surviving life that we forget to enjoy it.
Let's bring back the laughter, the curiosity, the creativity, the little adventures and the moments that make wonderful memories.
Let's remember that life isn't just about what we achieve, what we carry or what we overcome.
It's also about what we experience, who we share it with and how much we allow ourselves to enjoy the journey.
You deserve a life that feels lived, not just managed.